I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
is it fun? or sober?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
