Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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