My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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