so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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