it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
