I love black thongs
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize