Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
