Whats the glycemic index on semen?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
