New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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