Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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