This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
BRING THE BAGELS
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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