even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
