They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
