He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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