Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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