Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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