she was so not down for the gang bang
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
