you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I just want nice things and good sex
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
