I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Is Oprah even human
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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