Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
