we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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