Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
well you can't waste a boner
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
