You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize