Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
