You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
