Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
