just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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