Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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