Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
