I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
