Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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