"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
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she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
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I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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