I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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