Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
