I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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