I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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