This is not my ceiling
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
