a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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