how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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