I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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