I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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