If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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