Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
