just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
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All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
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That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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