dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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