If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
