They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
