you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
