ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize