Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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