I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
So squirting runs in the family.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
