i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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