She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
