i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
