Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
