Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize