Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
my phone needs a breathalizer
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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