careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
