okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Life is so much better after having sex.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
