and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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