WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
