i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
