Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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