I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
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I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
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When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
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