$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
