Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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