YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I can't turn off my feet"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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