so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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