I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
