Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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