Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
